smilefromaveil's Blog

The laws of attraction are at work I see....I always feel this way so I am attracting it to my life.  That is what they would say to me.

 I want more, deserve more, am capable of more.  But here I sit...waiting to die...alone.
There are many lonely people in this world in a room full of family and friends.  But there are many alone people in this world without a soul in sight for weeks...months....years.  They are alone  really alone.

The laws of attraction are at work I see...I always feel this way...I always am alone. 

I am supposed to be loved by family, by friends, by neighbors, by coworkers, by strangers....

I don't know the last time I was hugged even when I needed one the most....I was denied a hug by my mother.  She feels uncomfortable I guess...

I am sitting in my one room apt going about day by day....just surviving and waiting to die.  Thats what we alone people are really doing....nothing else to do...no one is knocking, no one is calling...people pass you by smiling and laughing.  You are just a breeze of wind...you pass them and they like it.

I used to think this way about old people living in nursing homes, that they felt this way...so alone...no one who cares really for them.  Waiting to die.  Now I know it can be anyone, at any age, at any education level, at any weight, height, race, or financial situation...

I see the laws of attraction are at work here....I am always alone but never lonely ;)
 

My mood: extremely blessed

Why am I so alone?
All my life....alone.
I just want someone to love me unconditionally so I may exhale.  Someone who really understands me without judgment, ridicule, or degradation.  Too many family members and friends do that to their so called "loved ones".  I want at least one person who wont. 
Real love, Honesty, Goodness, and Reality.
Integrity, Positive, and Willing.
These traits can only come from God. 
I feel I live my life possessing these traits regardless of what I feel sometimes.
Except my faults are many...and my eyes don't always see.  So very few come to me and when they do they always hurt me....Why?
Why am I so alone?

Shared on 06/26/10 Written on 12/21/08  I see some things never change...